Is it worth living anymore?

[Caius Julius Caesar]

Hello friends.

Lately, I've been having suicidal thoughts.

You guys ever been through this before?

I feel like a complete failure. I'm in my 20's and my life basically consists of waking up at 5, go to work, come home tired like a zombie in the evening. My job sucks, I have no skill for it and I hate it. I'm doing it only because my parents forced me to do it. I live in a very conservative rural area, and here parents decide for their kids what to do, what to wear, what to say, what to think. "They want to be proud of you."

Most of my friends took off.
I wish I could too.
But I'm stuck here.

Now, because of the coronavirus, I stay at home for some days... but they always call me, from work, and yell at me and treats me like a slave. Like always.
Sometimes I wonder if there are others in my position or I'm the only one. Every minute I feel like I'm going to break.

I'm not one to lay down and cry about it. But there comes a moment, doesn't there?
And I kept thinking about it.
I don't think I can make it man. I've read literally thousands of books, I've watched a lot of online courses, youtube tutorials... I have even learnt to code... Because, I mean, that's what I thought will be my salvation. I can make games, but man, it takes so much time...Normally I'd be patient, but in my situation, I can't anymore.

I've had enough of this crap.

And on top of that, my younger brother has an illness and he'll have to do surgeries. But where are you getting 10.000 dollars for it?
My parents are poor and I only make 450 dollars a month, and all of them go towards expenses like food, mortgage, utilities and all that.

I feel frustrated because I can't make that amount of money.
I feel lost because I have no direction, I don't know where to start.

Now, every day I wake up thinking I don't deserve to live... What's the point to wake every day, do something you hate, having people treating you like a slave, come home and repeat it everydamnday...

Is it worth living anymore?

 

[Deleted member 1207404]

Money can't make your pain go away, but it sure can make it more bearable and less miserable.

 

[augustwu]

So where are you from

 

[Mr.Scraper]

I've read literally thousands of books, I've watched a lot of online courses, youtube tutorials... I have even learned to code... Because, I mean, that's what I thought will be my salvation. I can make games, but man, it takes so much time...Normally I'd be patient, but in my situation, I can't anymore.

Can you explain more this part, you learned to make games, but take so much time? Beginners working slow, but from time to time, you will work faster. Do you apply on some game making job or do you make some game for the market ?
I think perspective is the main problem, for example you know good English, VA- virtual assistant for some good company is dream job, for beginners.

 

[captain13]

There are many milioners that do not got rich until their late 20'. So yes, it is worth living.

 

[Mebn]

You are young. Remember that. You have plenty of time to turn things around.

Your English is pretty good. Maybe look for someone who you could write for? I am sure you could earn more than 450$/mo. You have to understand that you live your life, not your parents.

Easier said than done, but believe me, there are bright days ahead of you too.

 

[SonOfBhw]

I am not a type of guy to give you advice but trust me suicide is not a right decision. There are lots of people whose life is more miserable than yours and yet they are living. If you don't like something you need to change it coz complaining will not do anything. I know its easy to say than done but you need to be consistent with learning a new skill until you start earning some money from it. If you don't like your parents or your society then work hard to earn a living for you by yourself and live alone. But again never-ever think about suicide.

 

[Deividas696]

Sorry but I have stopped reading before I read that you are 20 years old. Your life just started and you asking or is it worth living anymore? No matter what situation you are in, you have a plenty of time to change that situation. Just keep working. Good luck bro.

 

[NeoPat]

Hey mate,

Feeling worthless is normal, even feeling like a fake and thinking youve built this whole idea of who you are and just waiting for it to crumble.

What you're doing now is just living day to day, month by month.

Your goals and aspirations have to be bigger than you, not equal to you or smaller.

You goals need to challenge you, 80% skill, 20% things you dont know. Find out who you are, find out what you're skills are, and ask yourself, how can i use these things to change the world. My world or someone elses world.

You are valuable, most people know they are, they just cant see why.

Stop reading books, start doing things - build, build. Use templates, build on top of them. Find a niche, build out for that. Some of the most successful people i know built websites for less than $100 and are now generating thousands.

With work we have all been there, treated bad, treated disrespectfully, but see what you can take from them, if youve got all you need - find a place to move onto, whether online or offline. Start looking whilst youre at the job and when you're ready move:

1) What is my job
2) What skills am i getting from my job - i need to get skills from my job - no skills, the money either needs to work for me until get a better job - or il go for a new job with new skills
3) Can i afford to move? No - il need to get another job before i leave - start applying now, today
4) From what iv learnt either on my own or from my job how can i pick out skills to help me apply to other jobs - read other job descriptions, make your resume based on those job descriptions that you want to do, then either learn the skill or demonstrate how you've shown that skill in your job
5) Start looking and applying

BONUS: Am i ready to graft? Many days i did 1.5hr journey to work, and 1.5hr journey back, straight after work for 4hrs i would do my side projects, everyday - why? My goal was bigger than me, than how i felt, than where i am now.

 

[Prototype40]

You probably have the right situation to go balls deep in the Internet Marketing world. Build a budget, apply your knowledge and BE CONSISTENT. Don't give up, atleast until your method doesn't work for 5/6 months straight and you see no improvement.
Use your "depression" and make it your motivation.. a lot of people never change their life cause they don't really have the NEED. As far as you say, you do need it, so do it.

 

[Lunami]

Hi hun,
I know exactly where your head is at. I'm going through the same. Just 2 days ago I spent money I shouldn't on a poisonous substance just so I can have it around in case I ever have the guts to take it. This corona thing came along and put the nail on the US economy's coffin. Now the dollar is going to crash right after I started my first e-commerce shop. Not going to lie, it's been hard for me to keep going as well. But I want you to live knowing you are going to die anyway. Our time will come. Right now you're alive and you should channel your energy into fighting for a prosperous future and a different reality for yourself. You're here on this forum because you're smart, entrepreneurial and you think differently from your peers! There is still much more to learn and many ways you can apply yourself. Let's chase this money!

 

[Fang Yu]

It's worth it. You haven't reached your potential yet. Aren't you curious about where you will be and what you will have accomplished in 10 - 20 years?
That alone should make you want to live longer. I'm sure that you will be able to do very good things if you continue to study as you do in spite of your condition.

 

[ziko12345]

Hello friends.

Lately, I've been having suicidal thoughts.

You guys ever been through this before?

I feel like a complete failure. I'm in my 20's and my life basically consists of waking up at 5, go to work, come home tired like a zombie in the evening. My job sucks, I have no skill for it and I hate it. I'm doing it only because my parents forced me to do it. I live in a very conservative rural area, and here parents decide for their kids what to do, what to wear, what to say, what to think. "They want to be proud of you."

Most of my friends took off.
I wish I could too.
But I'm stuck here.

Now, because of the coronavirus, I stay at home for some days... but they always call me, from work, and yell at me and treats me like a slave. Like always.
Sometimes I wonder if there are others in my position or I'm the only one. Every minute I feel like I'm going to break.

I'm not one to lay down and cry about it. But there comes a moment, doesn't there?
And I kept thinking about it.
I don't think I can make it man. I've read literally thousands of books, I've watched a lot of online courses, youtube tutorials... I have even learnt to code... Because, I mean, that's what I thought will be my salvation. I can make games, but man, it takes so much time...Normally I'd be patient, but in my situation, I can't anymore.

I've had enough of this crap.

And on top of that, my younger brother has an illness and he'll have to do surgeries. But where are you getting 10.000 dollars for it?
My parents are poor and I only make 450 dollars a month, and all of them go towards expenses like food, mortgage, utilities and all that.

I feel frustrated because I can't make that amount of money.
I feel lost because I have no direction, I don't know where to start.

Now, every day I wake up thinking I don't deserve to live... What's the point to wake every day, do something you hate, having people treating you like a slave, come home and repeat it everydamnday...

Is it worth living anymore?

I guess u and me have some things in common.
I know that things are hard Most of the time and having suicidal thoughts when things dont get any better. DONT KILL YOURSELF, not just yet. Start working online, try methods and if you work hard enough. You can do it!
Good luck!

 

[Aulig]

I know it's easy to say for me as a stranger on the internet, but maybe you can find a programming job? I'd think that'd pay decently well. It sucks that your brother is going through that situation, but I think he probably appreciates you being there for him, even if you can't pay for the surgery.

 

[zionbar]

OP - sounds like you hit rock bottom, which is a good thing. Unfortunately we don't change unless we hit rock bottom.
Use your pain to change your circumstances, seems like you have no choice.
If you dont like your job - change it. if you arnt happy with where u are - change it. If you dont like where u live - change that too. You can change everything.

This corona crap will pass soon, unfortunately the media and social media have brain washed people to over react to this flu and caused insane damage to the economy and peoples mental health... but that will pass soon.

Be strong
Z

 

[Stitches and Burns]

You're a slave because you allowed yourself to be a slave. You're already 20+ but still scared of your parents. Why don't you quit your job and leave your home? Go to a faraway place and rent an apartment and start a new life away from your controlling parents. You need to escape your toxic environment.

 

[Mr Positive]

You need to relax and wait for better days

 

[crazy.ass.mofo]

Wow I am surprised by all these comments about money, money is not worth shit.

You need to focus on letting go of expectations on yourself, I've met homeless people who are the happiest people in the world.

Do not focus your life on money and 'success'

Maybe people will try and convince you otherwise, but you have to be strong and find yourself. This is the path to happiness.

 

[Mr.Scraper]

Wow I am surprised by all these comments about money, money is not worth shit.

You need to focus on letting go of expectations on yourself, I've met homeless people who are the happiest people in the world.

Do not focus your life on money and 'success'

Maybe people will try and convince you otherwise, but you have to be strong and find yourself. This is the path to happiness.

It is true, and the indirect part, level of testosterone can check, it is related to a lot of parts for man

 

[gorillano2]

Life is always worth living. Even if it’s hard you may not do what your parents want you to do, it is your life and you have to make yourself happy. When you are happy your parents, sooner or later, will be happier too.