In soviet russia, money makes YOU! (Guide)

Erik

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COMRADES, A CALL TO ARMS!

I, like most of you, try to answer questions and be a contributing member of this Black-hat utopia.

EVEN STUPID QUESTIONS

We welcome them, answer, remind them of the search functions, tell them that even though it seems like they are the first person to ever say "how can I make X amount a day", We assure them, that it has indeed be asked before.

WE MOTIVATE

We say, "Hey there is money to be made! Look around and find something that works for you!" And we wish them luck on their journey.

ONLY TO SEE THE SAME QUESTION ASKED AGAIN AND AGAIN!!

My Friends, I say stop! This has gone on long enough!

WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

We fight back the horde of 'noob' and they still push through stronger than ever!

WE MUST FIGHT BACK

All is not lost!. I'd like to remind you ALL that we have tools to fight this growing threat to our national security. What are these glorious tools and how can I use them to defend myself?

-YOUR WIT
-YOUR REMINDER
-REPUTATION
-REPORT

or the WRRR for short.
Pronounced "WWRRRR NOOB!!!"

THE PLAN OF ATTACK

If you are unlucky enough to stumble onto a post by the dreaded noober, first use WIT.

This WIT CAN BE A CANNED MESSAGE.

MY WIT WILL BE:

"In soviet russia, money makes YOU!"

This Wit will cover 99% of the sly noobien's questioning.

MY REMINDER WILL BE:

"Please use the search from now on, the info is here if you take the time to look!"

This lets the noobz know that you are on to their game and will be watching them like a hawk.

MY REP WILL BE:

"-1 for making a post that makes people the opposite of smart"

This will reinforce the fact that he has been labeled a lazy noob, and if he is to gain citizenship, he will have to work off this negitive image.

MY REPORT WILL BE:

"YOU FAIL!"

This shall be reserved for the extra special noob who not only deserves a neg rep, but he deserves to have his BS flagged for removal. The REPORT IS YOUR FRIEND USE IT WISELY.

TIP: Remember young commies, forum noon is not synonymous with marketing noob, a good marketer may be a forum noobie, just as a newbie marketer can be a forum master. If a forum noob makes a uniquely great post please remember to reward this wanted behavior with a treat. During our research we have found that this type of "smart noob" likes to munch on 'thanks' and '+1 reps'. Further studies are under way on how to replicate his type of behavior in other, lesser forms of noob.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

Let's all work together and make this a little bit easier on the mods and admins. They gave us the tools, so lets use them!

COMRADE, TOGETHER WE CAN WIN!!




 
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In Russia, posts like this would be absolved with a shovel to the head.

Thank Zeus that this is Soviet Russia, not that other regular old Russia. Big difference, comrade.
 
You see Erik I commend you for your Valiant effort . I to have tried to fight this war long ago here at this forum. Your effort is in vain friend.

Here is what you must realize those post will always be there . People will always have a circumstance where they think there case is diffrent.

It is best to except the fate and move on and flow like the river instead of being strong and unmovable like the mountain. As you know the river and can always adapt and overcome around such obstacles. In some cases friend the river even adds value to the property in which it happens to bend around . A river is a value commodity right? It produces fish . These fish you can eat. As a mountain it may be strong it may be unmovable but it to can colapse within it self.

Ok here is what I am saying without all the fancy metaphors .

You are trying to be a mountain. The mountain you are trying to be is endangour of collapsing in within itself. It is better just to go with the flow of the tide as no matter what kind of campaign you wish to start this tide will always come . This tide will always chip away at this mountain. This mountain in which you are trying to be will soon destroy itself.

I did it again. Sorry. Let me try one more time without the metaphors.

Uhmm just let it flow bro let it flow. I tried the same thing as you . It is best to let it flow. At some point in there lives they will get it. It may be because of something you have said to them that brings there head out of there ass. you might be able to say something that brings them out of pitiful existence and right into the point of making money.

At some point in there lives they will remember that and praise you as a saint . They may at some point in time have a valuable business venture to work out with which will earn you millions. All I am saying is let it flow bro. I been there done that and have the tattoo .
 
even if i`m personally like most things which come from Russia , honestly I didn't understand nothing from this post , maybe because it too early for me and I didn't finish my first coffee
 
Valwardon, I appreciate your post my friend. It is very insight full. Yes this war will be tough, but I respectfully doubt that you attempted to fight it as I do.

That is to say that I find it hard to believe you can pretend to be a soviet and respond to threads with humorous posts that will make the noob say "WTF?"

This is why America lost the cold war.

(OOC: I love making posts like these in the lounge late at night after a long day of learning/working. It's good to take a break from serious work to relax with friends. Thanks to everyone to replied and played along! Goodnight and Good Marketing BHW. See ya tomorrow!)

Edit: for those that just don't get it, it's a meme. See Here: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=soviet%20russia
 
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This is why America lost the cold war.

WAIT!!!! We lost the cold war ?? WHAT!!!

WAIT OOC ?? WHAT when was we playing in an rpg where we have to talk out of character :eek:

Take it from the Buddhist it is best to flow like the river than to be strong like the mountain as it is the river that shapes the mountain.

You see BHW has helped me in more ways then one. Ask anyone who knew me about 2 or 3 months ago . they would have told you I was the wickedest person alive. Because of here I have consciously made an effort to help at least one person a day. How has this helped me? It has definitely helped with my anger management. People who know me know can and will tell you that today I am a much happier and friendly person. Half way contribute that to the newbies :) Thanks newbies.
 
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In Russia, posts like this would be absolved with a shovel to the head.

Ahhh, so much Russian culture in one day. :)

In all seriousness though, it's just a joke. I wouldn't take it as something it ain't, ya know? ;)
 
im tempted to rework one of my photoshop doodles for your cause :D

us small.jpg
us_small.jpg
 
I'm a marketing noob and I'm new to this great forum but i'm damn sure how to use the search button.

I totally agree that thread like "how to make xxx amount..." should be deleted immediately. It dilutes other information.

And I hate putin the terrorist.
 
And I hate putin the terrorist.


Post edited out, because I'm drunk as fuck and don't want to start a political debate.


Damn it. I gave you a + rep instead of a - rep. That's what I get for posting drunk.
 
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ahhh. i wish i was drunk - this forum should have a section for drunken political debate
 
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