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Windows 8 is a Piece of Shit, and Here's the Solution:

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by B. Friendly, Jan 4, 2013.

  1. B. Friendly

    B. Friendly BANNED BANNED

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    Note: Since I made this post I took a suggestion from http://www.blackhatworld.com/blackhat-seo/blackhat-lounge/518604-windows-8-piece-shit-heres-solution.html#post5060848 and installed the software recommended by http://www.blackhatworld.com/blackhat-seo/members/44716-jlzandrad.html "Classic Shell", and this is EXACTLY what is missing from Windows 8. Couldn't be happier. I never tried the software I originally recommended, so you can ignore that suggestion and instead take jlzandrad's advice and install "Classic Shell". This was a GREAT suggestion, and jlzandrad deserves some good rep+.

    So my client is all pleased with herself as she's purchased a brand-new laptop with all the features she had to have and it was cheap. Plus, as an added bonus, it has the latest Operating System, Windows 8.

    News Flash: It's a piece of shit.

    Like any flash-in-the-pan corporate culture, Microsoft is in it's "decay" phase, and psychedelic mushroom fantasies have replaced whatever software engineering common sense that used to exist. They're inventing new and exciting ways to relive their best hallucinogenic journeys by changing the Laws of the Known Universe on their Operating System at random times, for reasons understood only by a large, 750 lb. yellow frog named "Gormanzle".

    Buttons that used to do something are sometimes there, and sometimes not. Things that used to be windows can suddenly become simple colored boxes that have no way to close, terminate, end or back-up. These concepts "sort of" exist in the beginning of your Windows 8 acid-trip, but don't count on them once you've fallen too far into the sewer. Escape is not an option. Microsoft has you in orange plastic underwear and matching ball-gag, and strapped to a purple girder that looks like it used to be a dandelion, and before they give you the melted white and chrome-striped anal probe, they want to show you a facebook app that, while it has a facebook logo, it's not really related to facebook in any way. It's a button-clicking tester, designed to test your ability to click buttons and psychically "feel" the intuitive vibrations of the Psi Nebulonic cluster, that place one ascends to once they've become one with their consciousness and transmogrified displacement systems.

    The journey is compulsory: there is no way out as there is no "out" in this universe, nor is one really ever "in". There is no "up", nor "down" either, rather it is all one long, laterally and infinitely flowing journey, possibly toward a "somewhere" that may or may not exist. It all depends upon your stasis point, and the endocrine levels of bichloroformic testicularides being aligned with the super-heterodynal outflow of the transflux capacitor. "When" has become "how", and we can do this in our rainbow-hued and all-inclusive spirit of godless oneness.

    It's just a matter of time.

    I've never done any kind of hallucinogen before, and now I understand why. People that I have known have warned me that the "trip" of psychedelic drugs can last well past the point where the drugs have worn off. Sometimes it can last for the rest of one's life. I certainly hope that is not the case with me, however sometimes from the corner of my eye I can catch my loyal and steadfast Windows 7 desktop slightly "droop" to one side and the colors will shift ever so slightly. Maybe that's just the monitor; I can't say for certain. However, I can say that I will never do that drug again. I also recommend that others stay away from it, as long-term use of Windows 8 may have a tendency to cause people to accept all manner of insane and irrational notions, too numerous to detail in this post.

    Here's the antidote, if you are already infected:

    http://classicshell.sourceforge.net/index.html
     
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    Last edited: Jan 5, 2013
  2. HoNeYBiRD

    HoNeYBiRD Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    lol, that was one hell of a post

    we need to be thankful to MS tho, because we wouldn't have posts like this if they wouldn't fuck things up intentionally from time to time
     
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  3. lobozebra

    lobozebra Junior Member

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    Do you really think anybody on a Blackhat forum would want to pay for a windows tweak?
     
  4. MakinBig

    MakinBig Newbie

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    This post makes me want drugs
     
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  5. partymarty4870

    partymarty4870 Elite Member

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    stop comparing Windows 8 to drugs - you'll have me running to my local computer store.

    It looks like a tablet (drug reference again!) operating system to me - not really designed for laptops/desktops. At least thats what I could make out in the ten or so minutes before installing Vista on top of it on our new staff laptop.
     
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  6. loclhero

    loclhero Supreme Member

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    My mom (78 years old) finally decided she wanted a laptop. Her budget meant nothing Apple. She had me do the shopping for her. I tried like a motherfucker to find something within her price range that still had Windows 7 but had to go with Windows 8. Lucky for her she has nothing to compare it to having never really used a computer before but holy shit, ONLY Windows could make something this cumbersome.
    How many fucking steps do they think it should take to just shut down the fucking computer??
     
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  7. 2011nfl

    2011nfl Supreme Member

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    +20 for that laugh :D
     
  8. Kaiser_Soze

    Kaiser_Soze Junior Member

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    W8 is a piece of shit for sure, but I do not agree they are in 'decay'. They will rebound from this huge blunder OS and will be just fine with the next like they did the last couple of decades.

    A typical MicroSoft sequence for PC OS is shit-good-shit-good-shit-good => 95-98-Millenium-XP-VIsta-W7, you get the picture.
     
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  9. time2spam

    time2spam Registered Member

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    Judging by that post, I highly doubt you don't do drugs

    Windows 8 is complete trash for a "power" user or anyone who knows anything about computers. You have to understand, you're not the market microsoft was targeting.
     
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  10. Panther28

    Panther28 Elite Member

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    re install windows 3.11, that has networking so you can still get on bhw
     
  11. travisle

    travisle Junior Member

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    [​IMG]
    WTH DID I JUST READ! :0

    And this is why I still prefer to run XP! Windows 7 is alright too.
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2013
  12. jlzandrad

    jlzandrad Junior Member

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    Windows 8 is a good OP if you have a touchscreen computer so you can use it like tablet, what I did with mine was install a dual boot with windows 7 pro...
    There is a great and free software to add the menu bar again to the task bar.

    Classic Shell is free and very good with lots of optimization options
    http://classicshell.sourceforge.net/index.html
     
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  13. alexglo

    alexglo Junior Member

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    Works fine for me...

    I use the desktop, if I need to open an application I press the windows key and type the name and it opens. Basically windows 7 with a different start bar. If you don't like it just don't use it but it really isn't as bad as you make it out.
     
  14. kvmcable

    kvmcable Supreme Member

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    First BlackSeng's magic dancing mushrooms and now this. Damn someone forgot my invitation to the party. Sounds like you guys are having a blast!
     
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  15. MiLiTARYiV

    MiLiTARYiV Senior Member

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  16. SEO_Alchemy

    SEO_Alchemy Senior Member

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    Used it for about 30 mins. Tried to reformat back to my Windows 7 Ultimate... guess what, you need to go through 25 steps just to get the f#cking thing to boot from disk via BIOS set up ?! Thanks but no thanks.
     
  17. drywallrob

    drywallrob Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    That's the funniest shit I have read all day!
     
  18. Junkfood00

    Junkfood00 Elite Member

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    This post gave me cancer.
     
  19. cookie1979

    cookie1979 Regular Member

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    I like it, the performance increases are great. And metro I can work with as every app I buy can be used on my tablet. I actually don't see a downside on my dual screen setup. And to the person complaining about turning it off, why would you? Its made to stay on and hibernate, its not xp.
     
  20. GravitySTAR

    GravitySTAR Newbie

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    I got it for free from my school yesterday so I figured I'd install it on a partition.