here is my sales letter for my membership website, and i am wondering if you guys think it is good and will sell my subscription.

Dear Success Seeker: In just as little as 1 hour you can be making real money online just like I did.
Do you know that the power to produce a high income from home is easily yours for the taking, regardless of who you are or how much experience you have?

Better Yet – Did you know that you can start making your money within the next few hours?
It’s True!
But there are a couple things that I want you to realize though, life hasn’t always been like this for me. The first thing that I want you to know is that I am just an average regular person like you are. I am really not different at all.
Chances are that you are just like I was a few years ago, trying to be successful online only to end up failing every single time. Believe me, I’ve been there so many times before!

Not long ago I was working about 45 to 70 hours a week and barely making enough to keep my head above water.
There were nights I couldn’t even sleep – I would try to, but I would constantly have really bad tension headaches right above my shoulders that never stopped. I would lie there awake thinking that there had to be a better kind of life than this.
Just like you, I would search the internet night and day for answers – and I would buy program after program wishing to find something that really worked.

You know – a program that actually did what it promises!

I struggled for over a year losing thousands and thousands of dollars, and my credit card was maxed out. I felt like I failed my wife and my children plus I felt totally lost.

During the next few months of that period, I started to just give up. I thought this was it, this was going to be the way I lived for the rest of my life.

Then something clicked – It was about 1:00am in the morning, I couldn’t sleep and I was sitting at my kitchen table in total darkness.

With so many things racing through my head, it hit me like a ton of bricks! I figured there were only a few things that needed to be in place to be successful online.

Things that every program I ever bought never pointed out!
Since then I have used these methods to produce a massive income online, and not one single time have they ever failed me. I call it Untold Money Secrets, because literally no one will ever tell you anything about them.
They are solid concepts that will work each and every time! They take little effort to put in place, and the best part is they work immediately!
Order the Untold Money Secrets Membership right now… and remember that I back my system with a complete 30 Day Guarantee ! This means that if you dont make money within 30 days, You qualify for a refund!

Click below and get started right now and access Untold Money Secrets at over 60% off of the normal $30 per month price, and recieve it today for just $10 per month!

It sounds like so many other "Life Stories" of so many other marketers selling the moon and the stars.

1. "life hasn’t always been like this for me"
2. "I am just an average regular person like you are"
3. "Not long ago I was working about 45 to 70 hours a week and barely making enough"
4. "Then something clicked – It was about 1:00am in the morning, I couldn’t sleep"
5. "it hit me like a ton of bricks! I figured there were only a few things that needed to be in place to be successful online."
6. "and the best part is they work immediately!"

yada, yada, yada...

Are you actually successful online What's the web address?

Here Is My improved salesletter

Hello,
My name isKlein Morley and I am going to tell you a little secret…
In just as little as 1 hour you can be making real money online just like I did.
Do you know that the power to produce a high income from home is easily yours for the taking, regardless of who you are or how much experience you have?
Better Yet – Did you know that you can start making your money within the next few hours?
It’s True!
I'm SHOCKED. I can't believe it’s happened, but somehow, someway, they have managed to keep it all hidden...
They've managed to keep the public vainly fighting for table scraps while they fill their wallets to the point of exploding...
Well now they have profited enough and now it's your turn to grab a piece of the pie...
But who are “they” and what exactly am I talking about?
“They" are the internet Hogs. Super affiliates and wonder gurus... Guys that build fences and walls to you keep you out... All for their own gain…

If you don’t want to start Digging Through the Internet’s

Biggest Money Mountain for your Own Financial Gain, then Read no Further...

I am just an average regular person like you are. Not long ago I was working about 45 to 70 hours a week and barely making enough to keep my head above water.
Chances are that you are just like I was a few years ago, trying to be successful online only to end up failing every single time. Believe me, I’ve been there so many times before!
There were nights I couldn’t even sleep – I would try to, but I would constantly have really bad tension right on my neck that wouldn’t stop. I would lie there awake thinking that there had to be a better kind of life than this.
I struggled for over a year losing thousands and thousands of dollars, and then, my credit card was maxed out. I felt like I failed my wife and my children plus I felt totally lost.
During the next few months of that period, I started to just give up. I thought this was it, this was going to be the way I lived for the rest of my life.

Then…
Something clicked – It was about 1:00am in the morning, I couldn’t sleep and I was sitting at my kitchen table in total darkness.
With so many things racing through my head, it hit me like a ton of bricks! I figured there were only a few things that needed to be in place to be successful online.
Things that every program I ever bought never pointed out!
Since then I have used these methods to produce a massive income online, and not one single time have they ever failed me. I call it Untold Money Secrets, because literally no one would have ever told you anything about them.
They are solid concepts that will work each and every time! They take little effort to put in place, and the best part is they work immediately!
There is are some problems though…
· The truth is that most newcomers to making money online fail because they get told too much information. Everybody is telling them they need to know this, do that, don't do THAT! Buy this product! Follow this system! This entire information overload leads to "analysis paralysis".
· You're scared to do anything in case you get it wrong and LOSE MONEY. Or you start something, and then change course mid–stream.
· You're scared of investing time (and money) into a dead end.
· You're trying to build a better life for yourself and your family, but you still need to keep paying the bills, so you're still working away at your "real job".
· You can't decide which direction to move in, so you don't go anywhere! (And this is a terrible shame, because it's actually very easy to succeed if you know the right things. You just need to follow instructions...)
The funny thing is that it's often the very smartest people who end up floundering. The people with all the experience end up thinking it’s impossible.
The people who succeed are the people who just put their heads down and do it. They might see someone else's money making site and say "I'm going to do one like that!" and that's what they do.
So…

"Yes Klein, count me in!"

· I get the Untold Money Secrets Membership for automated profits with nothing held back, ready to login Instantly
· I get a free 6 month subscription to the Newsletter, which has a retail valus of 19.95 per month
· I understand there is no risk on me at all. I am backed with a 30 day money back guarantee, which means that if I don’t make money after 30 days, I can get my money back

On that basis, I’m ready to get started right now.

Click below and get started right now and access Untold Money Secrets at over 60% off of the normal $30 per month price, and receive it today for just $10 per month!

Originally Posted by awsomnick1

here is my sales letter for my membership website, and i am wondering if you guys think it is good and will sell my subscription.

Dear Success Seeker: In just as little as 1 hour you can be making real money online just like I did.
Do you know that the power to produce a high income from home is easily yours for the taking, regardless of who you are or how much experience you have?

Better Yet – Did you know that you can start making your money within the next few hours?
It’s True!
But there are a couple things that I want you to realize though, life hasn’t always been like this for me. The first thing that I want you to know is that I am just an average regular person like you are. I am really not different at all.
Chances are that you are just like I was a few years ago, trying to be successful online only to end up failing every single time. Believe me, I’ve been there so many times before!

Not long ago I was working about 45 to 70 hours a week and barely making enough to keep my head above water.
There were nights I couldn’t even sleep – I would try to, but I would constantly have really bad tension headaches right above my shoulders that never stopped. I would lie there awake thinking that there had to be a better kind of life than this.
Just like you, I would search the internet night and day for answers – and I would buy program after program wishing to find something that really worked.

You know – a program that actually did what it promises!

I struggled for over a year losing thousands and thousands of dollars, and my credit card was maxed out. I felt like I failed my wife and my children plus I felt totally lost.

During the next few months of that period, I started to just give up. I thought this was it, this was going to be the way I lived for the rest of my life.

Then something clicked – It was about 1:00am in the morning, I couldn’t sleep and I was sitting at my kitchen table in total darkness.

With so many things racing through my head, it hit me like a ton of bricks! I figured there were only a few things that needed to be in place to be successful online.

Things that every program I ever bought never pointed out!
Since then I have used these methods to produce a massive income online, and not one single time have they ever failed me. I call it Untold Money Secrets, because literally no one will ever tell you anything about them.
They are solid concepts that will work each and every time! They take little effort to put in place, and the best part is they work immediately!
Order the Untold Money Secrets Membership right now… and remember that I back my system with a complete 30 Day Guarantee ! This means that if you dont make money within 30 days, You qualify for a refund!

Click below and get started right now and access Untold Money Secrets at over 60% off of the normal $30 per month price, and recieve it today for just $10 per month!

I don't see a headline, and that's the main part of every sales letter.