Note: Since I made this post I took a suggestion from post #12 and installed the software recommended by jlzandrad "Classic Shell", and this is EXACTLY what is missing from Windows 8. Couldn't be happier. I never tried the software I originally recommended, so you can ignore that suggestion and instead take jlzandrad's advice and install "Classic Shell". This was a GREAT suggestion, and jlzandrad deserves some good rep+.
So my client is all pleased with herself as she's purchased a brand-new laptop with all the features she had to have and it was cheap. Plus, as an added bonus, it has the latest Operating System, Windows 8.
News Flash: It's a piece of shit.
Like any flash-in-the-pan corporate culture, Microsoft is in it's "decay" phase, and psychedelic mushroom fantasies have replaced whatever software engineering common sense that used to exist. They're inventing new and exciting ways to relive their best hallucinogenic journeys by changing the Laws of the Known Universe on their Operating System at random times, for reasons understood only by a large, 750 lb. yellow frog named "Gormanzle".
Buttons that used to do something are sometimes there, and sometimes not. Things that used to be windows can suddenly become simple colored boxes that have no way to close, terminate, end or back-up. These concepts "sort of" exist in the beginning of your Windows 8 acid-trip, but don't count on them once you've fallen too far into the sewer. Escape is not an option. Microsoft has you in orange plastic underwear and matching ball-gag, and strapped to a purple girder that looks like it used to be a dandelion, and before they give you the melted white and chrome-striped anal probe, they want to show you a facebook app that, while it has a facebook logo, it's not really related to facebook in any way. It's a button-clicking tester, designed to test your ability to click buttons and psychically "feel" the intuitive vibrations of the Psi Nebulonic cluster, that place one ascends to once they've become one with their consciousness and transmogrified displacement systems.
The journey is compulsory: there is no way out as there is no "out" in this universe, nor is one really ever "in". There is no "up", nor "down" either, rather it is all one long, laterally and infinitely flowing journey, possibly toward a "somewhere" that may or may not exist. It all depends upon your stasis point, and the endocrine levels of bichloroformic testicularides being aligned with the super-heterodynal outflow of the transflux capacitor. "When" has become "how", and we can do this in our rainbow-hued and all-inclusive spirit of godless oneness.
It's just a matter of time.
I've never done any kind of hallucinogen before, and now I understand why. People that I have known have warned me that the "trip" of psychedelic drugs can last well past the point where the drugs have worn off. Sometimes it can last for the rest of one's life. I certainly hope that is not the case with me, however sometimes from the corner of my eye I can catch my loyal and steadfast Windows 7 desktop slightly "droop" to one side and the colors will shift ever so slightly. Maybe that's just the monitor; I can't say for certain. However, I can say that I will never do that drug again. I also recommend that others stay away from it, as long-term use of Windows 8 may have a tendency to cause people to accept all manner of insane and irrational notions, too numerous to detail in this post.
Here's the antidote, if you are already infected: